The Ice HouseNO POLITICAL POSTS IN THIS FORUM. This is the place to shoot the bull with other members -- but keep it clean. This is a public and Family forum -- so No raunchy, racy, racist, hate, jokes or images allowed. There is a "Boyz Room" for the R-Rate stuff, and a political forum in the Premium Members area.
Donations of any size will help to defray the enormous legal costs from a lawsuit filed against the administrator of OldHippie.com, by what many refer to as a "Copyright Troll" law firm, for the posting of a TSA "Pat Down" photo they had bought the copyright rights to, after the photo was posted on this site, and then removed.
In 1994, I registered the domain daveschultz.com and started to teach myself to do web sites using it as my scratchpad. I turned into a very large web site with 1000s of pages in dozens of sub sites.
Old Hippie dot com ultimately replaced it.
I was playing with the Internet's "Way Back Machine" and stumbled on to a version of the site in 2004. Much of the information was already 10 years old then -- but still timeless 16 years later.
I'm going to post some of these pages in this thread.
a thank you letter to a Florida Middle School from an old lady in the Nursing Home
Quote:
This will warm your heart...just when you started to lose faith in human kindness:
Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it and forward it to all those who could use a little lift from this kind old lady.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said FUKK you.
I decided to help out my softball and basketball buds having girl troubles with this form letter
Quote:
Not going well with that new girlfriend, this form letter could help those having a hard time putting their thoughts into words.
Dear (insert her name here),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention to become the future Mrs. (insert your last name). As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough this year and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.
I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available or I become extremely desperate.
So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (check all that apply)
__Your surprise at learning Paul McCartney was indeed in another band prior to Wings revealed you do not meet my age requirements.
__Your failure to reach for your purse even in a feigned attempt to pay for dinner by the fourth date displayed a stunning ignorance of basic economics.
__You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
__The only question you asked me was how much money I make.
__You neglected to reach over and unlock my car door from the inside after I opened the passenger side door for you.
__Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
__ I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly, cleaning the phone off thoroughly each time.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call, come to your home and finally capture you.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer, because no one wants to talk to you. Then go out and buy this institution an entire new phone system and be sure to spend your credit card completely to the limit.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy talking to more important callers to talk to you right now.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down &cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
If you are hopelessly addicted to the Internet, hang up the phone, get on your computer immediately and forward this email to everyone in your address book
Many states have just enacted a new law that makes illegal the use of a cell phone while you are driving a motor vehicle — without a hands-free device.
I have just made a special purchase of 1,000 of these devices and will make them available to my friends and family at the special price of $5 each. Simply send me $5 cash with your choice of colors: Red or Natural Gum.
Photo of a satisfied customer using this device is below.
Posts 5 & 7 have an image -- but the sight now hosting the image is very slow. If you don't see the image -- you won't get the joke -- so give it a minute or two by reading the posts without images and return to 5 & 7 when the images display.
Way Back Machine - Pre Old Hippie 
Linear Mode
