-
It
is up to God to forgive Bin Laden -- it is up to us to arrange
that meeting
-
Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.
-
If
you drink don't park, accidents cause people.
-
Who
lit the fuse on your tampon?
-
If
you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
-
Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.
-
If
that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive better.
-
My
kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
-
Thank you for pot smoking.
-
To
all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
-
If
at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek
counseling.
-
Impotence Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings."
-
If
you can read this I've lost my trailer.
-
Horn broken...watch for finger.
-
It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
-
If
you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.
-
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
-
The
earth is full--go home.
-
I
have the body of a God....Buddha.
-
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
-
So
many pedestrians-so little time.
-
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
-
If
we quit voting will they all go away?
-
The
face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.
-
Eat
right, exercise, die anyway.
-
Illiterate? Write for help.
-
Honk if anything falls off.
-
Cover me I'm changing lanes.
-
He
who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
-
I
refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
-
You! Out of the gene pool!
-
I
do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
-
Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
-
It's been lovely but I have to scream now.
-
I
haven't lost my mind, It's backed up on a disk somewhere.
-
Seen on the back of a biker's vest--If you can read this, the
bitch fell off.
-
If
sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
-
Fight crime shoot back.
-
If
you can read this, please flip me back over (seen upside down, on
a jeep).
-
Remember folks stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for
70mph.
-
Guys no shirt, no service, gals no shirt, no charge.
-
If
walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like
Jabba the Hut?
-
Necropillia
that uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
-
Ax
me about Ebonics.
-
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel.
-
Boldly going nowhere.
-
Cat
the other white meat.
-
Caution--Driver legally blonde!
-
Heart attacks---Gods revenge for eating his animal friends.
-
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
-
How
many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
-
If
you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
-
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
-
Saw
it...Wanted it...Had a fit...Got it!
-
Warning! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
-
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull
-
The
word for the day is Legs. Let’s spread the word
-
Mean People Suck.... Nice ones swallow
-
T ed Kennedy's car has killed more people than my guns!
-
D.A.R.E. to keep cops off donuts.
-
On the back of a Rotor-Rooter truck : "Your shit is my bread and
butter"
-
Nixon in 2000, he's not as stiff as Gore.
-
If guns are responsible for crime, forks are responsible for
Rosie O'Donnell being fat
-
Ass, grass or gas, nobody rides for free!
-
Earth First (we'll strip mine the other planets later)
-
California (fastest growing third world country)
-
I love cats! They taste like chicken.
-
Beer-Helping white guys dance since 1894
-
If being homosexual
is a disease- can I call in gay?
-
Bad cop, no donut
-
My Other Toy Has Hooters!
-
My wife? Yes. My dog? Maybe. My Dodge? No way!
-
If this van’s a rockin' don't bother knockin
-
Out of work? Hungry? Eat a environmentalist
-
Insured by Smith & Wilson
-
My Kid Gave Your Honor Student a Wedgie
-
Lost wife and dog "reward" for dog!
-
My other ride is your momma
-
If I had known this would have happened I would have picked my
own damned cotton.
-
Looking for your cat, check under my tire
-
Practice Cannibalism, Eat Me
-
Quality Built by the "Old" Chrysler Corp."
-
Piss off a liberal, by a GUN..
-
Rehab is for quitters
-
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
-
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
-
All men are idiots....I married their king.
-
IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
-
Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks
-
I'm fat, you're ugly, but I can diet
-
So you’re a feminist—Isn’t that cute!
-
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not
-
My Ex-wife's other car is a Broom
-
Don't steal, the government hates the competition
-
If you ain't supposed to eat it, Why does it look like a Taco
-
I didn't fight my way to the top of food chain to become a
vegetarian
-
If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
-
COWBOY FORPLAY "GET IN THE TRUCK
-
Abortion...one dead, one injured
-
My other car sits on blocks
-
Honk if you want to see my ex-wife naked!
-
Bomb Squad - If you see me running, try and keep up
-
I still miss my ex....but at least my aim is improving
-
Clinton versus Dole is like Herpes versus Hemorrhoids
-
We don't give a damn how you do it up North
-
I'm not paranoid. Are you following me?
-
Naked chicks ride free"
-
I
dialed 1-800-EAT SHIT — They told me all FAGS drove like you
-
The more people I meet. The more I like my dog
-
I
go from zero to bitch in 8 seconds
-
My
kid is inmate of the month at the Texas state pen.
-
As
seen on motorhome — back off or I'll flush!
-
If
you hate cutting down trees . Then try wiping your ass with
plastic
-
He
says he poked a little, but he didn't penetrate.
