Please note that these links do exist -- but
they're in the process of being shuffled around a little because of some
asshole making an issue of my web sites in court. If one doesn't work today
-- it will very soon. I'm guessing November 30, 2005!
I have done my shopping for
a number of years at a local co-op. They carry a wide variety of
goods, and while the goods may not all be top of the line, or best
value for money, there is a wide selection. And the store is pretty
much the only game in town.
A major accounting firm recently audited the co-op, and they
discovered that they have been overcharging their customers, on
everything from soup to soap, from rakes to radios. The money had
somehow built up in the balance sheet in a surplus account that had
not been used before.
The store manager announced the results of the audit, and told
customers that they were sorry for having charged so much, and that
they would return the money. So, I went down the next week to find
out about how much I had coming back to me. I had used a store
credit card for all purchases, so had complete records of what I had
spent and what I had bought.
The Customer Service manager seemed well meaning, but the meeting
did not go well.
First, he wanted to know my annual income. "I'm not sure I
understand why that's important; you have overcharged me, and I am
due a refund. The store promised me a refund."
"Well," he said, "Some of our customers need a refund more than
others. If you are among the top 1% wealthiest of our customers,
then we don't think you really need a refund. You could afford the
high prices we were charging."
Happily, sort of, I noted that I didn't earn enough to be in the top
1% of the stores customers.
"OK," he said. He broke out a calculator, added up my purchases,
figured out the overcharge. I was getting excited at the number. I
had a thousand bucks coming my way! "Yep, you've got 250 dollars
coming your way."
"What? I just saw you do the calculations. That's only a quarter of
what I was overcharged!"
"We can't just go and give it all back! We may think of something
that the store wants to do with that money later on."
"But the store has all the money it needs. Everything that you
planned to spend, you spent. This money is left over; there is no
other need for the store to have it."
"We're still trying to think some stuff up. Sorry, you get 250
dollars. Do you want it?"
250 dollars is better than nothing, I thought, so I sighed and
said, "OK, I’ll take it."
"Fine," said the Customer Service manager. "Let's see what we can
do. We have many ways of refunding your money to you. Would you like
some free diapers?"
"No, I don't have any babies at home, so free diapers are no use to
me."
"Ah. Perhaps you would like some free dentures? We have denture
cream, too!"
"No. I still have my own teeth. Don't have any call for dentures."
I was beginning to be a bit puzzled here. I thought I was going to
get back at least part of what I had been overcharged.
"I know!," beamed the manager. "College textbooks!! They're
expensive if you have to buy them, you know."
"Well, that's possible. I have kids in college. OK. Where do I go to
get the books?"
"Great... let's see here... OK. Does your wife work? How much is
your house worth? Are your kids in State colleges, or private
schools? Are they maintaining at least a B average? Are they willing
to come work for the Store for 4 years after graduating?"
"Hold it! What does this have to do with my free college books? You
overcharged me, and now the only way I can get my money back is
through free college texts... why don't you just give me the books?"
Undeterred, he continued, "What are they majoring in? We can't give
out textbooks for unworthy majors. Have they ever been arrested? Do
they work during the summers? What is their income?"
"STOP!" I shouted. "Just what in the blue blazes is going on here?
You've been overcharging my neighbors and me for a long time; you
didn't even know it until the year was up and the accountants
discovered the 'surplus'. Then you tell me that you'll give me my
own money back, but only part of it and not if I earn too much, not
if I don't need diapers or dentures, not if my kids are taking
the wrong majors in college. What kind of refund is that?"
"We call it a 'targeted' refund. We want to refund the money where
we think it will do the most good."
"But it's not your money to make that decision with," I spluttered.
"It's my money, and my neighbors' money. Give us our money, and
those who need diapers will buy diapers, and those who need dentures
will buy dentures, and those who need things you haven't thought of,
or don't approve of, can get those things if they choose."
"Sorry, but that's the way management wants it."
"Well, then, I want to talk to the owners!"
"But you are one of the owners. And your neighbors; after all, this
is a co-op."
"Well, then, who picks the management team, which decided to limit
the return only to people and activities it approves?"
"You do."
Does
any of this sound like the last tax rebate where the people who pay
the most taxes and are always the only ones to get an increase --
got squat?
