Please note that these links do exist -- but
they're in the process of being shuffled around a little because of some
asshole making an issue of my web sites in court. If one doesn't work today
-- it will very soon. I'm guessing November 30, 2005!
1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I
DON'T forward an email!
2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know
anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more
than 50 people!
5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca
Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10
people.
6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ...NEVER- NEVER!!
7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID
enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to
10 or more people!
8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England
collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free
and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.
9. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever
they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5
cents for every e-mail we send.
10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers,
characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an
e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!
11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual
dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this
to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by
telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If
God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn
before He picks up a PC to pass it on!
Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along
to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely
be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!
