Please note that these links do exist -- but
they're in the process of being shuffled around a little because of some
asshole making an issue of my web sites in court. If one doesn't work today
-- it will very soon. I'm guessing November 30, 2005!
As I was making my daily journey to the Post Office the other
day, I patiently waited for a car to vacate a parking space near the
door. As the rear of the vehicle came toward me, I noticed a bumper
sticker that read, in big, bold letters, "THANK ME. I VOTED
CLINTON-GORE." Of course, the bumper sticker was printed in response
to an earlier sticker that adorned some automobiles some six years
ago. Back then, as President Bill and Hillary were attempting to
nationalize health care and play havoc with the discipline and fiber
of the military, "Don't Blame Me. I Voted For Bush" was the message
on many bumpers. Hence, the "Thank Me..." message came in response.
Pondering the message of the brave, stubborn soul in the car ahead
of me, I considered all the things I could be thankful for as a
result of the Clinton-Gore regime.
Indeed, I discovered the list was long and varied. So, it is to that
fellow who has not yet discovered a razor blade and Goo-Be-Gone, I
offer a hearty "Thank you!"
Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones,
Monica Lewinski and about two dozen other names that we might not
have met and known otherwise.
Thank you for showing all the men and women in America that sexual
harassment in the work place, and on the job, is okay as long as it
involves powerful middle-age executives and the young women half
their age under their power. It is, after all, a "private matter."
Thank you for revealing that the agenda of the National Organization
of Women only includes some women. Women like Anita Hill, and not
women like Paula Jones, Monica Lewinski, et. al. Thank you for
allowing us to come to the realization that "sexual relations" is
not clearly defined after all. And all these years, I thought that
"oral sex" really had something to do with sex! (Imagine!) (Or isn't
it Oral Sex when you talk about it . . .?)
Thank you for giving us a president who discusses his choice of
underwear with teenagers. We always wondered if presidents wore
boxers or briefs.
Thank you for installing a man who reminds us of those good old days
of pot smoking (without inhaling, of course) and war protesting.
Thank you for showing us that the ridiculous plot of the movie, "Wag
the Dog," could really be plausible after all.
Thank you for re-introducing the concept of "impeachment" to a new
generation that missed the discussion surrounding it the last time
it was brought up.
Thank you for curing me of my addiction to the evening news.
Thank you for reminding us that the government that gave us the
Internal Revenue Service and welfare, also lusts for control of the
greatest health care system in the world.
Thank you for reminding us that the FBI, who has a file on millions
of Americans, including myself, can give those files to people
powerful enough to demand them.
Thank you for reminding us that, when all is said and done,
character really, really does matter.
Thank you for making Dan Quayle look like the Rhodes Scholar.
Thank you for making Jimmy Carter look competent.
Thank you for making Gerald Ford look graceful.
Thank you for making Richard Nixon look honest.
Thank you for making Lyndon Johnson look truthful.
Thank you for making John Kennedy look moral.
Thank you for reminding us of the importance of term limits. And
really, thank you not once, but twice! Why, if not for you, instead
of the current, interesting discussion all over the television
networks and newspapers, we would be focused on a whole slew of
trivial matters such as giving secrets to China in exchange for
campaign contributions, global defense, the economy, nukes in North
Korea, genocide in Africa & Kosovo, the containment of terrorism,
and all those other boring topics. So, thank you, thank you, thank
you!
Since Bill Clinton took office, here are some of the good things
that have happened: 72 House and Senate witnesses have pleaded the
Fifth Amendment. 17 witnesses have fled the country to avoid
testifying. 19 foreign witnesses have refused to be interviewed by
US investigative bodies. 19 charges from Whitewater investigations.
4 convictions from Whitewater investigations. 8 imprisonment's from
Whitewater investigations. 55 total charges in all Clinton scandals.
32 total convictions (so far) in all Clinton scandals. 14 total
imprisonment's (so far) in all Clinton scandals. 938 overnight stays
at the White House for Clinton supporters. $48 million - cost of
Starr's 2 Year investigation. $49 million – cost of Clinton's 10 day
trip to China. Yes, it's been an interesting seven full years for
"the most ethical administration in the history of the Republic."
But then..., everybody knows it's all the fault of the "vast
right-wing conspiracy." Cheers!
This is another of the emails that
was circulated in 1999. It is alleged to have been written by a
priest -- but I have never heard his name. If you know of his name
and can provide a link to the original source -- please mail it to
me and I will post it. Regardless of who wrote this -- it is how
many of the honest, law-abiding, God-fearing, and tax-paying
Americans feel. Democrats obviously feel differently about it.
That's why we have Dasshole, Barney Fag, Hitlery, William the
Impeached, Maxine Waters, Jesse Jackass, Ted Kennedy, Sheila Jackass
Lee, and their other fine and upstanding leaders infesting our
government.
