Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

but I only slept with you, 'cause I was pissed.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

I thought that I could love no other

Until that is, I met your brother.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.

This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace,

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I saw your face as you walked by

but then I saw a better guy.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.