LOG ON: Makin' a wood stove hotter.

LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truk.

MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin' the farwood.

FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin' to carry too much farwood.

RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

HARD DRIVE: Getting' home in the winter time.

PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold.

SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.

BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.

CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.

MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.

MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.

DOT MATRIX: Ol' Dan Matrix's wife.

LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.

KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.

SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes.

MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.

MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.

PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine

ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in, y'all."

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.

MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the rat house.