YOU'RE KNOW YOU'RE AT AN
UPPER-CLASS REDNECK WEDDING IF:
1. There's a tangy béarnaise sauce served with the possum
2. The bride's gift registry specifies no rebuilt truck parts
3. The fiddler has waxed his bow, his truck, his boots and his
mustache for the festivities
4. None of the girls lined up to catch the bouquet is pregnant
5. No one is allowed on the dance floor barefooted
6. The couple's honeymoon plans include a hotel room stay
overnight
7. The kids get a separate hotel room
8. All road kill served in the buffet has been USDA approved
9. The rental limousine has 4 wheel drive
10. Friends, family and guests are de-loused as they enter the
wedding hall
11. The preacher removes his hat before starting the ceremony
12. The bingo game at the other end of the hall is stopped for
the ceremony
13. There are no tractors or mules parked outside
14. The flowers don't have to be returned to the funeral home
15. The bride is all white, except for a few gravy stains on
her undershirt
16. The fleet farm boutique has fashion-coordinated the
bridesmaid dresses
17. No one in the bride's family appeared in last night's stag
party movies
