Collards is green, my dawg's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack.
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin',
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.  "That's impressive ," I say

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
 Diamonds are forever,"  they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds....IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!