I thought
you'd all get a kick out of this one - Texan or not (and
Republican or not)....
Texas has given all those
complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After
seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks
from
Texas have decided that we
might just take matters into our own hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the
United States (all
49 states).
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the
Republic of
Texas.
So what does
Texas have to do to survive
as a Republic?
NASA is in
Houston,
Texas (we will control the
space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the
United States.
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't
mess with Texas," will take on a
whole new meaning
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the
Republic of
Texas will need for
the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about
those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep
them warm....
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas
Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National
Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials,
Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel,
Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for
Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma
units in the world and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M,
Texas Tech, Rice, SMU,
University of
Houston, Baylor,
UNT, Texas Women's University, etc.
Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when
we need some more ) .
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance,
etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National
Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army
but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a
pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it.
If the situation really gets bad, we can always call
Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple
Texas Rangers.
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and
vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook
them so that they taste good.
Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the
Republic of
Texas in good
shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't
have.
Now to the rest of the
United States
under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to
get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to
drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the
United States will
have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in
Houston will cut off your
communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your
homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you
will not need the gas.
